Idyllic Thoughts

A Chinese curse says 'May you find what you are looking for.' In the same way, I heard someone say, 'May you be free,' meant as a curse. Freedom here means the availability of choices. And when there are choices, you are bound though you are free. You are bound or obligated to make a choice and live as per the choice you made, along with its repercussions and consequences. But when you are not free, free enough to make choices, then that is when you are really free, free to follow the single path in front of you. I am being reminded of this whenever I see what is happening in the country of freedom, of democracy. We have too many choices, and not educated about the good and bad choices. And we always end up choosing the rotten ones. Making a blind choice is as dangerous as not having one, and being compelled to walk on the single available rotten path. I just wish, we all gain enough intellect to choose rightly. And only then will 'May you be free' turn into

As far as I can remember, I have been jealous on two occasions in my life. Once, when my sister was born; she was more beautiful than any doll, with the fairest skin and honey-coloured microscopically thin silky hair. Everybody adored her and I, being a five-year-old, went and complained to my uncle that everybody loved her and cuddled her and all had forgotten me. He said a golden sentence, "You too love her like everybody else." That was a lesson I have remembered all my life and when I feel she is getting more attention than me, I too bestow my attention to her and go to cuddle her. From then on, I never felt neglected. Another incident happened one day in high school when I sat watching a girl of my class dance. She was so graceful that it looked like she was born to dance. I felt I could never dance like her. It was a fleeting moment of jealousy seeing everybody admiring her. Then suddenly I remembered my uncle's words. I stopped the onslaught of jealousy and joine

ಜೀವನ ಮುಂದೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಾ ಇರುತ್ತೆ, ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಕಾಯದೆ, ಆದರೆ ನಾವ್ಯಾಕೆ ಕೆಲವೊಂದು ಸಲ ನಿಂತಲ್ಲೇ ನಿಂತು ಬಿಡ್ತೀವಿ? ಬರದೆ ಇರುವವರಿಗೊಸ್ಕರ ಕಾಯ್ತಾ, ತಿರುಗಿ ನೋಡದೆ ಮುಂದೆ ನಡೆದವರ ಒಂದು ನೋಟಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾತರಿಸುತ್ತಾ? ಚಿಕ್ಕವಳಿರುವಾಗ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಬಂಡೆಕಲ್ಲೊಂದರ ಮೇಲೆ ಮಲಗಿ ಗಂಟೆಗಟ್ಟಲೆ ಆಕಾಶ ನೋಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ. ಆಗ ಈ ಪ್ರಪಂಚದಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾರೂ ಇಲ್ಲ, ನಾನೊಬ್ಬಳೆ ಅನ್ನೋ ಭಾವನೆ ಬರ್ತಿತ್ತು. It was a wonderful feeling. ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಕಳೆದುಹೋದ ಹಾಗೆ, ಆ ಅನಂತತೆಯಿಂದ ಕಣ್ಣು ಕೀಳಲು ಮನಸ್ಸೇ ಆಗುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂಟಿತನ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ಇಷ್ಟ ಆಗೋ ಏಕಾಂಗಿತನವಿತ್ತು. ಭೂಮಿ ಮೇಲೆ ನಾನೊಬ್ಬಳೇ ಆದರೆ ಏನು ಮಾಡಲಿ ಅನ್ನೋ ಹೆದರಿಕೆನೂ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅಂಥ ಏಕಾಂಗಿತನ ಈಗ ಹೀಗೆ ಒಬ್ಬರೇ ಹಾದಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಂತು ಎರಡೂ ಕಡೆ ನೋಡುವಾಗಲೂ ಇದ್ರೆ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿರುತ್ತಲ್ವ? ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂಥರಾ ಶಾಂತಿ, calmness, ಇರುತ್ತೆ. ಗಡಿಬಿಡಿಯಿಲ್ಲದ, ಧಾವಂತವಿಲ್ಲದ ಶಾಂತಿ. It's beautiful.

I don't remember if I have written a post about this. I am always surprised by people who love to sit in air-conditioned rooms with locally circulating stale air but close the windows when fresh, natural air gushes in happily. Why do they go and play in artificial water parks which re-circulate water and in which hundreds of other people bathe (in addition to releasing their own bodily fluids) when they curse pure rain water pouring from heavens and run towards shelter. They look at me incredulously when I walk in rain and one woman even took her child who was staring at me inside so that my influence would not make her child want to get wet in rain. I don't understand why people hate nature so much but love the artificiality created by them. They then beaming say that they love nature because they went to a man-made resort in the middle of forest for the weekend. Why do they forget that resorts are made after killing so many trees and destroying the surrounding ecosystem so t

I may be silly and childish but I tell what I feel. Is maturity all about feeling what can't be told and telling what can't be felt? Or is it taking every happening as an opportunity to live more happily?

You wake up every morning deciding that this day you are going to be happy, care-free and not haunted by memories. It's like being a child. As the day goes by, it seems each and every event, small words or things bring back those memories which you would wish to forget. You just shake it off and move on to the next work at hand. I guess our resilience holds out through everything that seems to be ready to break us. This is the human spirit I have learnt to admire. But when it doesn't?