Idyllic Thoughts

ನಮ್ಮ ಪಕ್ಕದಲ್ಲೇ ಓಡಿ ಓಡಿಯೂ ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಮುಟ್ಟಲಾಗದೆ ಹಿಂದುಳಿದ ಮರಗಳು, ಒಂಟಿ ದೋಣಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂತು ಓಡುತ್ತಿರುವ ರೈಲನ್ನೆ ನೋಡುತ್ತಾ ತನ್ನೊಳಗೇ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋದಂತಿರುವ ಮೀನುಗಾರ, ಟ್ರೇನು ಯಾಕಿನ್ನು ಬರಲಿಲ್ಲವೆಂದು ಪದೇ ಪದೇ ಇಣುಕಿ ನೋಡುವ ಪ್ರಯಾಣಿಕ, ಒಳಗೆ ಕೂತು ಹೊರಗಿನ ಪ್ರಪಂಚವನ್ನು ತನ್ನ ಆಲೋಚನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಸರಿತೂಗಿಸಿ ನೋಡುವಾಗಲೇ ಚಾದರ ಹೊದಿಸಿದ ಹಾಗೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಬೀಳುವ ಕತ್ತಲು. ಟ್ರೇನ್ ಹತ್ತಿ ಮೂರು ವರ್ಷಗಳಾದವು. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಸಿಗುವ ಕತೆ, ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿಚಿತ್ರಗಳು ನನ್ನನ್ನು ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ ಕಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದವು. ಬಾಗಿಲ ಹತ್ತಿರ ಬೀಸುವ ಗಾಳಿಗೆ ಮುಖವೊಡ್ಡಿ ಗಂಟೆಗಟ್ಟಲೆ ಹರಟುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆವು. ಎದುರು ಕೂತವರನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಪರಿಚಯಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ಬಾರದ ವಿಷಯಗಳ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಗಂಭೀರವಾಗಿ ಚರ್ಚಿಸಿ ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಬೋರ್ ಹೊಡೆಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆವು. ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿ 5 ವರ್ಷಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ನಾವು Jab we met ಸ್ಟೈಲ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಓಡಿ ಬಂದು ಹೊರಟ ಟ್ರೇನ್ ಹತ್ತಿದ್ದೇ ಹೆಚ್ಚು. ಅದೂ ಒಂದು ಚೆಂದದ ನೆನಪು. ಈಗ ಮತ್ತೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತಿದೆ.

Now I get to see bougainvillea very rarely. Once upon a time it grew in abundance in front of our home spreading a pink glow on our walls. To me, a child then, it was one of the pleasant wonders of nature. I loved the way the flowers took on an ethereal transparency. Then as we left that house, the memory of bougainvillea faded. When I saw it again a week ago, I remembered the mornings I had spent looking out of the window as dew settled on the pinks and greens of bougainvillea. I also remembered how I saw my husband for the first time when he was a teenager and I, a scrawny school girl.

In my school, each classroom had an adage painted on the wall. All of them have abandoned me but for one which has stubbornly refused to give up on me. I would hunch over, defeated within myself. It was only when I walked in front of that classroom that my spine would stand straight and proud. I owe my escape from many moments of helplessness and sadness to that proverb. 'No one can ride your back unless it is bent' was what I learnt in that classroom. I learnt that no one can make you unhappy without your own willingness to be so.

New years. New dreams. New resolutions. I find this hype just cliché. I remember Dec. 31 of 2015 well, as well as the day in 2014. Today is just another day. As will be the days all through the year. I have never made any resolutions till now. I know as everyone does that they will never be kept. I know too that life doesn't change overnight with the change in calendar. Ask any happy person, they will say they were happy yesterday and they were happy today. Ask any person who is hell-bent on being sad, they will see the change in calendar as just one more year to sigh.