I missed blogging all these days. My fingers were impatient to write. But I was not sad, just enjoying the first days of married life, adjusting to living with someone, caring for someone and thinking about the needs of someone else other than myself. I am an impatient girl. But marriage is teaching me patience and softness. I did not care for somebody else's opinion as long as what I felt and said was right. But now I am learning how to be careful with spoken words so that they don't hurt somebody. My ego has taken a backseat and my love the driver's. I guess there are always so many things to learn from others in a lifetime.
'Caught in a strange land in a net with other butterflies, I'm a caterpillar yet undecided to remain a caterpillar and perish or turn into a beautiful butterfly and live a life full of joy.' Readers don't laugh. But I came up with this one night recently when I was travelling in a train. I tossed and turned, not being able to sleep, upset over unexplainable things and frustrated over events not in my control. Then it occurred to me that our life and its usefulness depends on our decisions -- whether to remain a crawling caterpillar whose existence otherwise is either ignored by all and sundry or who is cursed for just being there and thrown out with a stick, or to develop wings of life and metamorphose into a beautiful butterfly whom everybody adores for its beauty and colour, for its flitting liveliness, for its service to the flower's pollination... I thought that I should be a butterfly, of service to others, but then again I thought, anyway, who really cares?
... if only one could throw the Ego altogether out of the window and let the Love be the driver, conductor & cleaner forever ... :)
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