Skip to main content

Ennui?

These untimely rains remind me of those younger days of ennui. Of days when I wandered around lost, with no bearings, no aim. Lost because to a person like me, living without reading is like a druggie without his drugs at hand. Like a fish out of water. I belong only in a world where books are near me wherever I go. 
Those were days of summer holidays when I went to my grandma's house and felt lost. Everybody brought me books as gift, as loan, as peace offering while my sister got bangles, colourful chains and other accessories and knick-knacks as gifts. 
Yet, they were not enough for me. I devoured them all and hungered for more. I spent my rainy days in a daze, surrounded by the gloom of a lone house in the midst of a forest. I spent sunny days wandering around the forest, lying on the huge rock and gazing up at the unchanging sky for hours. Sometimes I feel those days were from another life and I am reborn again. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Caterpillar or butterfly?

'Caught in a strange land in a net with other butterflies, I'm a caterpillar yet undecided to remain a caterpillar and perish or turn into a beautiful butterfly and live a life full of joy.' Readers don't laugh. But I came up with this one night recently when I was travelling in a train. I tossed and turned, not being able to sleep, upset over unexplainable things and frustrated over events not in my control. Then it occurred to me that our life and its usefulness depends on our decisions -- whether to remain a crawling caterpillar whose existence otherwise is either ignored by all and sundry or who is cursed for just being there and thrown out with a stick, or to develop wings of life and metamorphose into a beautiful butterfly whom everybody adores for its beauty and colour, for its flitting liveliness, for its service to the flower's pollination... I thought that I should be a butterfly, of service to others, but then again I thought, anyway, who really cares? 
8 comments
Read more

A listener

I have always been a listener. And we can listen only when we are silent. Since childhood, silence was my way of life. It is the only way one can understand the psyche of others.  I also listened to myself. It encouraged me to think. And when I began thinking, this world began to reveal itself. And when I started understanding people, I also realised the only way forward is to again remain silent. Silence in either way keeps me calm, peaceful. I feel like a detached onlooker. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Parents extraordinaire

My friend told me a story today while we were travelling in bus. It made me think of human emotions and the ways they are manifested in relationships. On Monday, my friend got into her bus as usual and sat on a vacant seat near an old man. He was bent with age, possibly carrying the life's burden. After a while, he started talking to her, asking about the time and her destination. When the city bus stand came near, he said he had to go to Sayyaji Rao Road to buy dosa, come back near Town Hall to buy churumuri and go somewhere else for some other eatable. She just nodded thinking why he was telling her all this. He then said it was all for his son. My friend asked him what work does his son do, to which he replied 'nothing.' He is well-educated, with good computer knowledge and intelligence enough to work. But he never steps out of his house and this aged dad works for a living, not only looking after his grown son but also cooking for him and lovingly serv...
3 comments
Read more