Death of a parent is the most unique, tragic lived experience we are subjected to, as Jordan Peterson says. The grief that seeps deep into our soul stains us forever, burns us forever. We all take life for granted, those who live for us for granted. The thought that I will no longer see, hear the person I have known since birth flits across my conscious mind, refusing to stay long because it seems quite unreal. It has not really been understood by my mind though I know the facts and I have acted accordingly for all practical purposes. There just doesn't seem to be a way out of the pain, guilt trips I take constantly or the horror of the reality I have not yet found the courage to face.
“ What is the feeling when you're driving away from people, and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? It's the too huge world vaulting us, and it's goodbye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.” -- Jack Kerouac (American Poet and Novelist) From what I have seen and admired in humans, they are eternal optimists. Goodbyes seem to break us, but we straighten up and walk, holding our head high, blinking away our tears. And as regards the specks of people dispersing, when something moves away, something else comes near. Guess that's how laws of nature move. If a time comes when nothing else comes near, it's when we will become really alone; alone to live and love life without any reason, taking the next step forward.
Indeed death of a parent is an unknow the mind which exists only by the known struggles to reconcile with. Nevertheless, in not trying to escape from the fact, in staying with and looking at the structure of the whole movement of the mind through grief, guilt, fear, one may find true understanding of death as integral part of life and find freedom from all the disorders.
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