Relationships are very hard to maintain, especially if those involved in the relationships are insecure. Marriage is quite complicated as it is embracing a whole new family, with their interests, ways that differ from ours, likings and not-so-likings, stories and light moments, fears and emotions. Someone recently told me that being unmarried makes us retain our individuality. Maybe so. For someone who has been independent in thinking and has their own beliefs, it would be quite difficult to stay in a marriage happily, where one has to constantly consider the likes and dislikes of the spouse. Is love, family, worth sacrificing one's individuality for?
'Caught in a strange land in a net with other butterflies, I'm a caterpillar yet undecided to remain a caterpillar and perish or turn into a beautiful butterfly and live a life full of joy.' Readers don't laugh. But I came up with this one night recently when I was travelling in a train. I tossed and turned, not being able to sleep, upset over unexplainable things and frustrated over events not in my control. Then it occurred to me that our life and its usefulness depends on our decisions -- whether to remain a crawling caterpillar whose existence otherwise is either ignored by all and sundry or who is cursed for just being there and thrown out with a stick, or to develop wings of life and metamorphose into a beautiful butterfly whom everybody adores for its beauty and colour, for its flitting liveliness, for its service to the flower's pollination... I thought that I should be a butterfly, of service to others, but then again I thought, anyway, who really cares?
can one be in Love without being attached/ possessive? isn't it possessiveness that makes individuality suffer in relationships? can there be loving relationship with complete respect for each individual? can't Love allow, encourage & support each individual's flowering into his/her full potential?
ReplyDelete.. if Love demands the individuals to sacrifice their own being & flowering, its probably nothing more than mutually exclusive physical-emotional ownership !
There can be love without possessiveness, which also lets one's individuality grow. But such love is found only in some rare persons. If only all were capable of such love, there would be less number of crimes, heartbreaks in this world. A loving relationship can support each individual without killing their individuality. I believe it is possible.
ReplyDeleteit is indeed possible, all are capable of such love, and, it has to begin with oneself - be the change you want to see in the world!
ReplyDeletewhen hearts break or individuality suffers, the challenge is to recognize that its not Love, its possessiveness ... and have the courage to accept it ...
so, does one have to wait for the breakpoint to recognize the truth...? in the event, will one have strength to survive and discover the truth ...?